Saturday, June 12, 2010

Breaking News: New Exfoliant Discovered!

It's the tail end of spring, and motorcyclists across Pennsylvania are riding around the countryside without their helmets. I rarely ride without mine since I really like keeping my brains inside my head; however, the other day, I forgot to grab mine, was locked out of the house since my wife had our son at an appointment and I'd forgotten my house key inside, so I decided to take the risk and ride the motorcycle without it.

This is how I discovered a new exfoliant! Riding without a face-shield in the late spring is a great way to rid yourself of all that dry facial skin that built up over the winter. After riding several miles through swarms of bugs, you're likely to have little skin left on your face at all.

This led me to think about the other great exfoliants we motorcyclists and scootsters encounter.

  • Sand - Found in many places around the world, this natural exfoliant will not only take your bike out from under you, but it will also take a fair amount of skin off your arms, legs, face, torso, etc., should you leave them unprotected.
  • Gravel - Like sand, but courser. This exfoliant will leave you with brand new baby skin, after it grows back in a few weeks.
  • Birds - I have yet to actually hit one of these while riding, but I can imagine one of these would at least do a good job of changing skin coloring to a nice hue of blueish-purple if it hit unprotected skin. Perhaps not an exfoliant, but it would save the cost of a tattoo artist.
  • Pavement in general - I've been down once, thankfully only once, and I was wearing a protective jacket at the time, so I was unable to enjoy the exfoliating properties of pavement, but from what I have seen of other bikers and scootsters who have gone down, I can attest to the fact that it is, indeed, able to clean the skin right off of unprotected flesh.
After my discovery, I decided that I do not need to exfoliate that much, so I will make a concentrated effort to never forget my helmet again.

I've also had a reminder not to wear shorts while riding the Saber. I burned my calf on the left tailpipe while trying to put it on the center stand, and I almost went down when an idiot in an Escalade decided to pull out in front of me. So, I don't want to exfoliate that way either.

Disclaimer: Please take the above as tongue in cheek. I know many bikers have been seriously hurt in accidents, and my heart goes out to them; however, I think it is a good thing for us all to remember that the dangers we face are real. I was glad of the reminders I had this week, and thought it might be fun to write about it in a jovial manner.


Andy said...

haha, too funny!

also, I cannot agree with you more about the seriousness of wearing the correct clothing/gear while riding. people are just careless on the road, it's pretty scary some times.

now this is just me speaking from an idealistic perspective, but sometimes I wish it were some how mandate or obligatory for everyone to own and operate a two-wheeled motor vehicle, to maybe get an idea on what it's like and what one goes through while doing so. frankly, i'd even more like to see protected lanes and highways for motor bikes, or perhaps even better yet, an abolishment of the so called "cages" altogether. it could dually make the roads a little safer for bikes, and take a good chunk out of America's petroleum consumption to boot. but anyway.. back to reality..

kz1000st said...

I cringe every time I cross over the NY/PA border and see people riding bikes bareheaded with nothing but sunglasses. My dad slapped a helmet on me long before NY had helmet laws and I wear my leather jacket until the mercury reaches 90. Even then I wear some kind of arm covering. Then again I put my seat belts on as soon as I got my license 41 years ago. Call me a chicken